Fasting Log

Jan 23-25, 2008

Days 19-21.  Alright!  This is it…the last entry in this Fasting Log.  Chris and I have been discussing everything we went through physically, mentally and spiritually as a result of taking this fast.  Here we go….

Physically

• Body will do what it needs to survive
• Craving b/c body needed food, not because we just wanted it
• Realized we had forgot what hunger felt like as we always just had food around and would eat whenever we wished.

Mentally

• Thinking slowed during the fast- Chris
• Disoriented – during the fast
• Mental Clarity during the fast – me

Spiritual

• Unless one takes out a necessity in life (not just a like or want or habit) but a true necessity like food or water a truly close relationship and reliance on God will not happen.
• Inside craving for God
• Truly pray our hearts out
• Bible Study – necessity instead of habit or doing just cause it is what we are supposed to do.
• Realization that the only thing that matters is our inward expression to God, our relationship with Him.  It’s not all about listening to Christian music or watching Christian movies or putting verses up around the house or Christian paintings…these things are all good, and can be used for growth, but they will not grow you….only a DEEP Relationship with the Father can do that.
• Spiritual Clarity – Verses we had read before had new meaning…What we read just became more clear in general as far as what God was saying to us through the verses.

TOP 10 Lessons…(not in any particular order)

1. We can never have a close relationship with God unless we are willing to give up what gives us life physically (food) – Only then will we know what gives us like spiritually.
2. Better understanding of how BIG God is….we tend to put boundaries on things, BUT with GOD there are no boundaries!!!  He has unlimited power and can do anything….. Only He can heal the sick…Only He can get us out of the bondage of Debt…only He can reach the lost…Only HE can satisfy.  We have to take the boundaries of our God who knows no boundaries.
3. Fasting makes you more thankful to God for what you have
4. Fasting makes you honest with yourself
5. Time – we have time to study and be with God no matter what goes on during our day…
6. NO EXCUSES….we can make up excuses for just about everything, especially spending time with God…..kids, dr visits, unexpected guests or phone calls, cleaning the house…..on and on.  WE NEED TO STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING THE THINGS OF GOD!!!!
7. Our prayers are more effective when we are truly praying with our whole heart
8. Debt is bondage
9. Must be thankful for everything God gives…to complain about what we have is to complain about what He has given us…thus disrespecting God.
10. Life Group – seems that we have all started coming closer together.  See our purpose for being together with this group.

Jan 22, 2009

Day 18.  So, if you can’t tell, we are SERIOUS about getting out the bondage of dept.  Yesterday I actually received a call regarding getting a personal loan (not a dept consolidation, but a reg loan like you would get for a car) which will enable us to put our 3 credit cards under one payment and better percentage rate (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!).  I was so thankful and of course took the opportunity.  We really won’t be saving a whole lot per month, but the benefits are long term and interest of course.  We are hoping to be able to pay off the majority of it with Chris’ bonus and our tax return, praise God.  But we know we will still owe a bit more and will have to be very diligent about scrimping and saving and trying to make extra payments to get it all paid off by the end of the year, but I know that God will supply all our needs.

I would really enjoy a nice vanilla cap about now….foam no whip with cinnamon on top, but still have a few more days of fasting, and as I stated in a previous day, coffee is a no no for now.   Not to mention that Kennedy’s will be put on hold, as will all other “eating out” until we are debt free…so in a sense we will be kinda fasting all year in regards to certain wants.  We must learn the word “NO”.  “NO, I don’t really need that.”  “That sounds great, but NO.” NO, NO, NO.

Last night, as Chris and I were going over the notes I had took from John Hagee’s sermon we discussed some things…well a lot of things, but one was when John Hagee said, “Take a look at your checkbook.  You can tell a person’s spirituality, where their heart is, a person’s love for the things of God by their checkbook…..Hawaii vacation $10,000, tithe $15….New vehicle $35,000, offering to Christian organization $10.”  I told Chris that obviously ours lies in our stomach, as most of our wasted money is on food….not just groceries(as these are needed) but pizza or coffee, or lunch at wherever, or dinner at Beef O’ Brady’s (they have take-out and are close to home – convenient…and really good fried mushrooms…yum).  So no more….unless someone else is paying…HA

Meditative Scripture: 2 Cor. 9:8, Psalm 15:17, Ex. 36:5, Rom. 1, Eph. 5:18-19, Colossians 3:18, 1 Thes. 5:18

Sermon: John Hagee’s Master Your Money – disc 5

Thoughts on Scripture/Sermon:

The purpose of abundance is not for hoarding for ourselves, but for serving and giving.

We must always be thankful for what we have.  No matter what that is.  Even if it is not enough to pay all our bills, we must be thankful for what we were able to pay and for what God DID provide.

To complain about what we don’t have is to complain about what God has given us.  It is disrespectful to God and He will not bless us if we are just complaining all the time.

(How many of us either do the complaining, or know people that are constantly complaining about what they don’t have….It’s annoying to say the least, but to God it is not only annoying, but disrespectful)

Many times the reason people don’t have more is because they are not thankful for what God has already given.

God’s will for us is to be blessed spiritually, financially and physically.

Spirit filled people are thankful people.  We must always thank God and bless His name.

God didn’t go to the cross to free us, just for us to turn around and become slaves to creditors.

Thanksgiving comes from thanksLIVING

Jan 21, 2009

Day 17.  I was so encouraged last night at Life Group.  Things are just really seeming to click with everyone.  I think becuase we are getting to know each other(which takes time) so we are beginning to open up, and also we are doing a study about something that everyone in the group seems so passionate about in one area or another:  Missions.  There are so many groups that need support.  It was just awesome to see our group really sharing with one another!  I know now that God has strategically placed us all together for a reason….or several.  To lift each other up and be an encouragement to one another, to share with and pray for one another, to use each of our passions and talents to further His kingdom.   Today I will be praying for all our prayer requests we shared with each other, believing that God will “show up” in each circumstance.

Meditative Scripture: Malachi 3:10, 1Kings 17:7-16, Leviticus 27:30, Deuteronomy 8:18

Sermon: John Hagee – Master Your Money (listened to 4 of 5 discs – will finish tomorrow)

Thoughts on Scripture/Sermon:

Everything belongs to God.  Because everything is God’s already, we must tithe out of our everything.  When we give our full tithe, God will open the floodgates of blessings on us and we will live in abundance.  I must always remember the Lord when He blesses us as He is the one who gives wealth and everything else.

The story of the Widow at Zarephath is so encouraging in regards to God’s blessings when we are faithful to Him.  Her and her child were about to eat their last meal, then die as they had no other food, and the land was in a famine as there had not been any rain.  Then Elijah comes and asks for her last bit of food that she was making for their last meal.  She ends up giving her and her son’s food to Elijah.  In her obedience God made sure that she was never without food.  This is the God I serve.

I know that when we are faithful to Him with our finances (and everything else) that He will bless us with abundance.  I am living in expectancy, because I serve a God of promise and who wants to bless me.

“When what you have in your hand is not enough to make your need, it’s your seed.” – J.H.

“All we will have is what we’ve given to God.” – J.H.

“We reap what we plant.  We must plant the seed to receive the harvest.” J.H.

3 Questions to ask before I buy something…

1.  Do I need this?

2.  Does my spouse agree with me buying this?

3.  How am I going to pay this back?

Jan 19-20, 2009

Days 15-16.  Both of these days I reflected on two things mainly…Matt. 14:25-33 (Jesus walks on water) and chapter 6 in our book.  I’ve been thinking a lot about promises or commitments that we, I, give to God.  It’s funny how inspired and called we can be when we hear God’s answer about something.  It reminds me of Peter.  When Jesus told Peter to come to Him in on the water, Peter obeyed, and was doing pretty good, until….he started paying more attention to that which was around him instead of fixing his eyes on Jesus….then he sinks into the water because he becomes afraid.  How many times do I do this…make a commitment, then when the wind picks up I get scared and end up crying “Lord, save me!”  Even when I know God is in control and He always has my best interest at heart and knows what is best for me.    Through this fast I have been praying for many different things and now I am praying for more trust in God’s commitment to me.  He desires that I walk with Him on water.

Our book Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan just keeps getting better and better.  Some highlights of chapter 6 include some realization the K.P. was experiencing, and also a call from God that he could not ignore.  What is God’s call on my life that I cannot ignore?  Do I have that deep obligation to the knowledge of God’s will?…things I am pondering on as I read.

“Holding evangelistic crusades and bringing people to Christ are not enough:  Someone has to stay behind and nurture the new believers into maturity.”

” For the first time I began to understand the goal of all mission work:  the “perfecting” of the saints into sanctified, committed disciples of Christ”

“‘Haven’t I commanded you to live by faith?’ asked the Holy Spirit”

“In those early days, what kept me going was the assurance that there was no other way.  Even if people did not understand that we had to start a native missionary movement, I felt an obligation to the knowledge of God’s call.”

“The secret of following God’s will, I discovered, usually is wrapped up in rejecting the good for God’s best.”

“No matter what you do, don’t ever take yourself too seriously.”

Jan 17-18, 2009

Days 13-14.  Ok. So we decided to start eating again, as Chris needs his strength for what he will be having to do at the KC meeting.  I however am not eating much though…sticking to soup, plain rice, plain baked potatoes, plain eggs.  My stomach is having a really hard time coming off the no food fast, so I will continue fasting with the exception of the above things.  I will also be fasting coffee and any juices and sodas.

This whole fast has truly been an awesome experience so far!  I am feeling spiritually awakened,  physically beter, and more aware mentally of everything.  God is just so awesome!

What I consumed this weekend: an Egg (both sat and sun), noodle soup, white rice, tried some mac n’ chz sat, but didn’t settle too well, lots of water, tea, vitamin water.

Meditative Scripture: Psalm 19, all verses from Sunday’s sermon

Thoughts on Scripture and Sermon notes:

Everything around us declares the glory of the Lord…the heavens, day and night, the whole earth.  It is only the Lord who is in control of everything.  He has the power to change each person.  He is right, true, pure, enduring and righteous!

I must identify what I crave…both spiritually and worldly.  Even though I don’t worship the devil, he can get me to worship anything but God…and that is what he wants, so I must evaluate my cravings, priorities and line them up with God, because there is a war for my worship.  I need to always ask myself daily what is taking my time away from God.  I think this all comes down to what Chris and I commited for this new year…that we not live in excuses….anything can take time away from God if we let it, and hence becomes an excuse….babies, sicknesses, money, time, etc…  The thing is all we need is Him and we need to give Him our time and all our worship….we have to give him our hearts and priorities above all.

Jan 16, 2009

Day 12.  Well, we did decide to have one small meal last night.  And today we are back on our fast.  I know that is probably considered cheating, but we felt it needed to be done.  I have started making mental note of everything God has shown us thus far in the fast…it’s a lot…not meaning a long list really, just in substance.  I will put these all in here for our last day, which will be next Sunday.  Consequently, that is also the day that Chris leaves out for KC to support the Sam’s meeting.  He will be gone for almost 2 wks.  So we are praying about if we will end our food fast early and go on a beverage fast (not drinking anything but water) for the remainder of time.  We will see…

What I consumed today:  Water – lots, coffee – 1 cup, choc. milk – 1 cup

Meditative Scripture: Psalm 25:4-5, 20-21, 47:1-2, Duet. 10:20-21a

Thoughts on Scripture:

The verses God has brought to me today are all about Him; about wanting more of Him and giving Him praise for who He is.  Upon starting this fast, my #1 request has been that I see where I need to be in every aspect of life (be on God’s page): as a wife and mother, as a follower of Christ, as a woman, as a member of a Christian band and non-profit org, where our finances are, priorities, worship, and time.  Through these verses, I am reminded that my hope in in the Lord, and whatever His path is for me I will rejoice.  I must cry out to God in joy because He is my Savior and worthy of praise…even more so…”He is my praise, He is my God.”  I must always remember how much He loves me and that He will always protect me.  I am blessed in Him.

Prayer:

Father, you are not only worthy of my praise, but you are my praise.  I put my hope in You alone and not anything or anybody in this world.  You are my sustainer and my joy, my comfort and my strength.  Help me to give You the praise you deserve.  Put me on your page, that I may see your ways.  amen

Jan 14 & 15, 2009

Days 10-11 of 21.  These two days have been pretty busy.  Today (15th) was partially spent out.  I had to go to the Social Security office in Fayetteville to get Trinity’s card corrected.  Then I had to go to the WIC office, then to WM to get all the formula.  Thank the Lord for WIC.  This saves us on average $450 a month on formula.    It’s crazy.  I decided to combine these two days because I studied the same verses both days; allowing them to sink in thoroughly. I also read chapters 3,4 & 5 in our book.

Meditative Scripture:  Proverbs 31: 11-12, 25-30

Book: Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan

Thoughts on scripture and book:

I remember when I first read Proverbs 31 – the Wife of Noble Character epilogue.  I was a senior in HS with no idea really of what being a woman, let alone a wife of God meant.  I remember at first getting lost in all the “wool and flax” and “working in the vinyard.”  Along with this passage, we read the book A Woman of Strength by Neva Coyle.  To this day, I look at that moment in timeas a serious awakening; an awakening to the kind of woman, and later wife that I wanted to be.  It was no longer about having to be strong and put up a front.  It was about allowing God to be my strength.  To this day I still have this desire to be a wife of noble character and strive towards it each day.  This passage, along with other stories in the Bible of great women (Esther, Ruth for ex), tell us how important women are to God.  We have a strong and vital part to play, if we accept it.

Some things I believe  are key to being a good wife:

• Fear the Lord
• I must always encourage my husband.
• Give him the attention he deserves and desires.
• Listen to him attentively.
• Always speak positively of him.
• If he is wrong about something, correct him when we are alone.
• Don’t just continue to be in “mommy mode” after he gets home.

Now from the missionary book…It is continuing to amaze me.  It is making us aware of how many people are still untouched by the word of God and also how many areas are still struggling.  When we think of India and Asia we don’t always think of people in poverty.  I think this is because there are so many people from both places who work at WM, especially in ISD.  But this book has helped us see that these areas are in dire need.  I decided to include some of the passages in this book that Chris and I really connected with…

“It was as if they were trying to escape from a guilt they had not yet defined or even identified.” (this was said in regards to media and how we are constantly surrounding ourselves with noise – tv, movies, radio – even if we are not paying attention to it.)

“To my horror, the food and “fellowship” frequently cost more than the money they had just given to missions.  I was amazed to find that American families routinely eat enough meat at one meal to feed an Asian family for a week.”

“I found that believers are ready to get involved with almost any activity that looks spiritual but allows them to escape their responsibility to the Gospel.”

There are many more, but if you are reading this fasting log and have never heard of this book, I would suggest getting it and reading through it.  You can request a free copy from Gospel for Asia.

Jan 13, 2009

Day 9 of 21. Ugh…I am feelin’ it today.  I want to eat so bad…but I won’t.  One of those, “my Spirit’s tellin’ me no…..but my body, my body is tellin’ me YES.”  And just about anything sounds good, but on the top of the list would be…Red Lobster, Olive Garden (for the Tiramisu {not sure on spelling}), Chili’s, or any steak house.  Oh Lord, give me the strength.  I am committed though.  More like determined.  The whole 21 days was my beginning commitment and I am determined to keep it.  If God says I can, then I can.  I just have to rely completely on HIS strength, not my own, for I am way too weak.

What I consumed today: Water  – lots, 1/2 cup of instant cap, 1 cup sleepy time tea, small bowl of tomato basil soup:

Study:

Well, today my study was not any particular Bible verse, but rather a movie.  It is one of my favorite movies of all, Beyond Borders with Clive Owen and Angelina Jolie.  It is a movie about relief work and love.    I had not watched it in quite some time.  It always stirs my heart.  Whenever I think, “man I’m hungry”, I just think about the people in other countries that really know what it means to be hungry, well, actually starving.  It burdens my heart to know that people all over the world do not have a choice to go on a fast.  Their life is a fast. They don’t have a choice of where to eat or get groceries.  They don’t have a fridge, freezer or pantry to pick food out of.   They are lucky when someone cares enough to set up a relief work in there area, or when some organization like Compassion or World Vision comes in.  So for the rest of this week, my fast will be for these people.  The people without a voice, without a choice.

Jan 12, 2009

Today I am feeling very rejuvenated, refreshed, and energized!  We really had a great weekend.  Yesterday after reviewing and studying with Chris the sermon notes, we made some goals/changes in our own lives.  This year for us is going to be the year with no excuses.  It seems that we always desire to do certain things, things that feed our spirit, but for some reason they get put on the wayside for worldly things that are not even important.  Then we later make excuses why we didn’t get our spiritual needs accomplished.  The biggest excuse is time.  We are really good at weeding things out of our life that we don’t see as Godly, but many times don’t fill it, although we have every intention of doing so.  So we will be making more time  for each other to be in prayer and study and just feed our spiritual nature in general.  Very Exciting!  So today…

What I consumed today: lots of water, chicken noodle soup broth – 1 sm can, cranberry juice – 1 glass, instant cappuccino – 1 cup

Meditative Scripture: Matthew 6:25-34

Thoughts on Scripture:

I have been meditating on this scripture throughout the day.  I just love this passage.  It reminds me that God is my provider.  How much more He loves me than the birds and lilies.  Even when we are struggling so much financially, I recall and meditate on this passage and remember that He will provide.  I needn’t worry about food or clothing or our place to live because we are seeking Him, and He is ever faithful.

Jan 10&11, 2009

Days 6 & 7 of 21.  This weekend was nice.  Saturday I cleaned the living room (moved all furniture) and vacuumed.  I surprisingly have had quite a bit of energy despite no food and still having some of my cold left.  Sunday I attended the early service at church for the first time.  I am really glad I decided to go.  The worship time and sermon were just awesome.  The sermon really hit home about…what is winning in my life?  What am I feeding more? Sinful nature or Spiritual nature?  My Sunday study was just going back over the sermon and discussing with Chris.

What I consumed this weekend: Choc milk, lots of water, some coffee, cranberry juice, and some chicken noodle soup broth

Meditative Scripture for Saturday: 2 Cor. 4:16-18, Eph. 4:29, 1 Pet. 4:7b-11

Thoughts on Scripture:

It is so wonderful to know I serve a God who renews me day by day.  No matter how tired or worn out I get, and no matter what the world throws at me throughout the day, God always renews me when I fix my eyes on Him.

I am many times honest to a fault.  And I know that this at times results in unwholesome talk.  I am asking that God change this in me.  That He will help me resist the desire to always speak up, especially if it will not build somebody up.  We must serve each other in brotherly love, and this should be done with wholesome talk and without bickering or complaining.

My God gave me gifts to use to serve others.  They can only be used by the strength that He provides.  I am nothing, have nothing, can do nothing without His strength.  He must be glorified in everything I do.

Jan 9, 2009

Day 5 of 21.  I was able to sleep much better last  night (as the kidos did) and feel very refreshed today.  Still have my cold, but it is getting better.  Took some Sudafed, and it has worked wonders.  It’s funny, but I don’t feel like it has been 5 days since I have eaten anything.  I know that that is the strength of God working for me.  Today my outline will be a bit different.  I have one verse for the day, and two chapters from a book…

What I consumed today: Bengal Spice Tea – 1 cup, water – lots, 1 glass of SOBE, half cup of hot choc (made from milk and choc syr.)

Meditative Scripture: Acts 26:18

Book:  Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan

Thoughts on scripture and book:

My study today begins with the verse mentioned above and the first two chapters in the above mentioned book.  I am challenged as I read K.P. Yohannan’s words.  His words are full of compassion, encouragement, hardships, pain, miracles, journey’s, but most of all the loving Spirit of God.  A love so strong for the unsaved and untouched that he is willing to die for them, just as Paul was.

And I think to myself how lowly I am.  Although God has not put the calling in my life to preach the Gospel to indigenous tribes or on top of a rock in the middle of town, God has still called me to have compassion for, to pray for, and to have a burning spiritual concern for the lost.  Now while I do have compassion, I just don’t feel that I have that burning spiritual concern, nor do I pray for them daily.

For me, the burning concern is more for people who have accepted Christ as Savior, but who don’t really get what it is to be Christian; the one’s who got saved in church or wherever, then got stuck “sitting on the pew” due to lack of direction and teaching.  Their faith never getting beyond salvation.  I just have a strong desire for others to see how mighty God can be in their lives if they just let Him be God, and allow Him to move.  I love seeing people grow closer to Him and become stronger in faith and how that overflows into everything they do.  And while I know we all have different callings, I am praying for that burden for the lost.  I am joyous when people are saved, but I have never just wept for the those who do not know Christ.  Why is this?  Well, maybe it is because I haven’t really asked God to give me that.  I figured that burning came with salvation, but I know many others who are saved, as I am, who feel the same.  So…

That is my challenge and prayer: that God will take my heart over, move in me in a mighty way, and fill me with that burning/weeping concern for those who either have never heard the Gospel or who have, but who have never put their faith in Him.

Jan 8, 2009

Day 4 of 21.  I feel great despite the fact of being sick (congested, headache, drainage), and not getting a whole lot of sleep again.  Our Pediatrician told us the other day when we where at his office that one of the reason’s that the kiddos may not be sleeping through the night, as they pretty much always have, could be because of dreams.  Interesting.  Never would have guessed.  But that’s why he has the degree, right? HA.  Anyways…on to the fast

Last night I ended up going to get some chicken noodle soup so we could drink the broth (much better than chicken broth – YUK…def not that desperate yet).  And also some Tomato Basil, which is pretty much Minestrone without the veggies and noodles…just the base, but a little thicker.  I will prob have the remainder of that for lunch today.  Hoping the chicken noodle broth with help with our colds.

I feel surprising well for being on day 4 of no food.  The only time I have really been dizzy was at 1:30 this morning…yep, that would be Trinity again.  Those 1 hour at a time sleeping patterns are rough.  And head colds are always a bit whoozy at times.  But currently I feel great!

What I consumed today: Bengal Spice Tea – 1 cup, water – lots, half bowl of Tomato Basil soup, 1 glass of SOBE, 1 cup of chicken noodle soup broth

Meditative Scripture:

AM -  Ecc. 12:13b-14, Colossians 3:8-12 / PM - Psalm 91 & 92

Thoughts on Scripture:

In God there is no darkness, therefore, His light shines through the depths of everything; the depths of me.  He’s aware of every thought and act both good and bad.  In fearing God, we are respecting Him and surrendering to Him and His will.  We are telling Him to use us.

God calls us to rid ourselves of all anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language, and instead to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  While I may not have outward fits of rage, anger, malice or use offensive language it doesn’t mean it is not inside me.  It doesn’t mean that I am not capable of it.  Cus trust me, I know I could get angry at times and through a fit of rage.  But I know that even my thoughts must be rid of such offenses as well.  For thoughts can become actions if thought on long enough.  I pray everyday that I will never turn into one of those parents who get angry and get in a fit of rage so to speak towards their children, thus resulting in the child learning to fight anger and rage and misbehavior with more anger and rage and misbehavior.  Instead I will strive to “fight” with patience, humility, gentleness, kindness and compassion.  Does this mean our children will never get spanked? oh, no…I am sure they will if needed, but it is all about my composure and intent as the parent.  I mustn’t become as the child to make a point….or else there will be no point…no scriptured lesson.  I must handle in a more mature fashion.   In a more Christlike fashion.   I believe this is a lesson that must be remembered and practiced daily.  Especially for those of us whom God has entrusted his children, who are so precious in His sight.

God has so much strength and power.  He is our covering.  When I fully trust in Him and dwell in Him it is written that no harm, no disaster will enter my home.  The Lord’s angels are guarding and protecting me.  It just amazes me how much He cares for us.

We are to praise God with music!Man, I love music!  I can only imagine how much more it pleases God, our Father when we worship Him in song.  And I don’t think it matters what style…whether it be Fee or Chris Tomlin, Hillsong or Flyleaf….soft,  heavy, upbeat…I believe God delights in it all.  I know I need to praise Him more.

Prayer:

Search me, Oh God and know me.  I open the depths of my heart and soul to You.  I surrender to all You have for me.  I praise You and thank You for who You are and who You have made me, and I know that You are far from finished.  Chisel away those things within me that are not of You.  Don’t allow me to be that parent, the one teaching anger and rage instead of love and patience, gentleness and kindness, compassion and humility.  I pray that when I make mistakes that You will show me and correct me swiftly so that I will not cause one of Your precious children to stumble.  amen

Jan 7, 2009

Day 3 out of 21.  I didn’t get to meditate on my PM scripture yesterday, so that will be my AM today…if I can get to it.  Trinity has been extremely fussy all night and thus far today.  Can’t figure out what the deal is.  She has a little stuffy nose (but has had that before with no prob)…maybe she is teething.  Honestly don’t know.   I believe that is why I am so tired…not really due to fast, but to lack of sleep and an abundance of screaming.  Maybe it is a combo.

I too woke up with a stuffy nose, along with a yucky throat and annoying headache.  Thought about taking some dayquil, and may yet.  I just REALLY hate taking medicine…it is always a last resort for me.

I have noticed that I really haven’t felt “hungry” so to speak.  I think my body is just used to eating, that I want to eat.  I am honestly starting to believe that it has forgot what hunger is….as it always is full of food from me nibbling all day.  Things sound good to eat, or look good, but whether it is because I am hungry could be argued.

I don’t know whether I will make it the entire 21 days as this is my first regular fast, but I feel that I will.  And this is not of my own accord.  When the message of fasting was given, I immediately sought the Lord and felt my answer.  It was all or nothing for me.  If I can’t give God my all in food, a fast, how easy would it be to give up or not give my all in “bigger” things.  I honestly believe that if God calls me to do something that He will carry me through.  So really, if it was just by my own strength, I would fail.  I must fast in God’s strength.  I must rely on Him the entire way.  The thing is, at the beginning I felt an enormous amount of encouragement and strength from Him; like there was no question on whether I was going to make it through.  I just hope and pray I can continue in His strength.

The hunger pains have started a bit.  Nothing serious.  Just need to drink more fluid apparently.  I am now (late afternoon) starting to feel hungry.  I think I will be going to the store tonight for some soup so we can drink the broth.  Oh yes, and out coffee pot broke   Sad times at the Howard Hizzi.

What I consumed today: Water – lots, choc milk 1 cup, 1 glass of Vitamin Water, 2 cups hot tea, 1 cup chicken noodle soup broth only, half bowl of tomato basil soup (minestrone w/out veggies and pasta)

Meditative Scripture:

AM & PM-  Romans 12:9-13, 15:5-6, 8:24-25

Thoughts on Scripture:

We are all called to be devoted to one another in love, and to be sincere and hospitable.  I am to be zealous in my following Christ.  In other words I need to be more enthusiastic.

As Christians, as “the Church”, we are to have a spirit of unit so that each of us is sending the same message – glorifying the Lord.  I look at this as the whole body and also within our personal endeavors….like our band, our non-profit org, our family.  If we are not in a spirit of unity…if we aren’t humbled by His grace and presence, striving to be better at what we do (not just talk about it or make excuses why we aren’t), giving Him our all, our best, showing others love in a real way, then what is it all for?  How can we expect to make a difference?  How can we expect to grow together?  How can we expect to turn others towards Christ?  And how can we expect God to work in our lives?

We have to be in unity, and enthusiastic about that unity.  We must hope in greater things, and allow greater things to work.  If we are truly devoted to one another in brotherly love, we need to show it.  We need to show our Lord that we mean business and have a strong desire for Him.

Prayer:

Father, you are awesome and amazing.  You are a reason for enthusiasm and praise.  Show me your ways each day.  Help us all to be unified to Your will.  Help each one of us desire more of You and to be our all for You and to give You our best, with no excuses.  I pray that you will humble me and show me your face.  God, I make a cry out to you for the Church, our band, our non-profit org, our families, our everything.  Put us on Your page.  Because You are a God that is worthy of our effort.  Worthy of all we have.  Forgive me when I get selfish and lazy.  Draw me closer to you.  Amen

Jan 6, 2009

Day 2 out of 21.  It’s gonna be a WORD filled 21 days!  Got started a bit late today on my studies as we had our 9mos doctor visit this morning. Found out Gabriel has an ear infection on his left side.   Always a joy, going to the dr!  So let’s see….we made it through our first evening, which was actually the toughest part so far.  Chris and I always eat dinner together…I either have it ready when he get’s home or we cook it together…a big part of the night.  I was having some extreme cravings too, which didn’t help.  So far day two is going well.  I’m actually not very hungry today….at the moment anyway.  I have noticed though that every movie on the planet has food/eating somewhere in it….and even on cartoons it looks pretty good…made the mistake of watching Ratatouille yesterday afternoon! HA

What I consumed today: Water – lots, hot choc. 1 cup, part of a bottle of Vitamin Water, 1 cup milk

Meditative Scripture:

AM -  Hebrews 11:6, James 1:27, 5:15-16 / PM - Romans 12:9-13, 15:5-6, 8:24-25

Thoughts on Scripture:

I cannot please God without first showing Him my faith.  I must not only believe IN Him, but also in that He will bless me and reward me when I seek Him fully.

God is very clear on how I should help others, especially those who cannot otherwise help themselves.  I am to look after them, take care of them, help them with their needs.

I am to focus fully on Him and His purpose for my life and not just let worldly things pollute me.

When I live in faith I am allowing God to do what He desires in me.  Whether it be forgiveness or healing or anything else.  When I am faithful and chasing after Him, my prayers are powerful and effective.

I want my God to be powerful in my life.

It’s time to “‘get real” with each other.  I think we are great at sharing our needs with family, but sometimes we may not go as deep with friends.  And even when we do, sometimes it’s like “do they really understand?”  The thing is that our friends or family may never understand the whole circumference of what we share, but it is the fact that we share, and that they know how to pray for us.  If we want to see God’s power in a big way, we must share our needs/sins/desires/struggles with those around us.  What is it that I struggle with most?  hmmmm…

Prayer:

Father, please show me my offenses so I may serve you better.  Make known to me my sins and where it is I struggle most.  I ask that you stir my compassion and hunger to help those who otherwise have more help.  Give me strength to always be real with others and openly discuss needs.  I desire that You be all powerful in my life.  I am earnestly seeking Your face.  you are glorious and powerful, and everything that is beautiful.  Thank you for choosing me.  Guide me and grow me closer to you.  amen

I must say that today was a bit easier than day one.  Even this evening was good.  We went to Life Group where everyone was eating and was not tempted in the least.  Although, it was Eureka pizza which is questionable whether it should really be called pizza..def not a fave of mine, so I lucked out!

Jan 5, 2009

Well, today is officially day one!  I have decided to make a list of things I will be praying over/for/about through the course of this fast.  Not in any particular order…

Health – my mom, my grandpa, Diane (Richard’s sister), Haggerty fam

Finances – Chris and I -  me, trying to find a pt evening job to help supplement income as things are tighter than tight.  to put it lightly.

Spiritual – Holy Spirit will work in me.  That I will be obedient to His will.  God will be my provider.  Through Him I will be changed.  That I will listen and respond.  I will be freed from the things that keep me from craving more of the things of God.  That I will acknowledge His greatness and power and promise in my life.  I will expect God to show up and bless me and my family.  To be aggressive in my pursuit of Him. To worship and pray more freely and openly.

Personal - An even closer relationship with my husband and children.  Closer relationships with friends and family members.   That God will show me the things in my life that need to be changed or taken out.

Band – just in general….learning more. Playing for God and no one else. Friendships.  Present and future involvement.  The hearts and maturity of everyone in the band.

I’m sure there is more, but this is  my list for now.  I will pray on these things each day.

What I consumed today: Water – lots, Chocolate Milk – 1 glass, hot choc. 1 cup, coffee 1 cup

Meditative Scripture:

AM -  Psalm 51:16-17, 52:8-9 & 54:2,4 / PM - Philippians 2:14-15, 4:4-9, 11b-13

Thoughts on Scripture:

In order to come closer to the Lord, I must have a broken spirit, and a broken and contrite heart.

contrite:

1.	caused by or showing sincere remorse.

2.	filled with a sense of guilt and the desire for atonement; penitent: a contrite sinner.

I must trust in God’s unfailing love in my life.  I must give and show Him praise for all He has done, is doing, and will do in  my life.  I must have hope in His name.

I must have my heart and spirit right, and trust that He will listen and hear my prayers.  I must have confidence in my God, that He will be my help.  He must be all that sustains me.

I must do God’s will without complaint or argument.  It is my job and duty as a Christ follower to be a light – to shine like a star in this world; a world filled with unbelief.

No matter what…Rejoice in the Lord.  I must give Him my all, my everything, and be thankful in all He gives me.  Only when I do this will I have that inner tranquility that comes only from His peace.  I must commit all my cares to Him in prayer.  In all things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, I must not only think on, but also put them into practice.  I desire that the things which influence me most be the things of God.

The secret of contentment is having a union with my Savior.  No matter the situation, I can stay content knowing that He is in control of all the happenings of my life.

Prayer:  Hear my prayer, my Father.  I praise You for all you are doing in my life…my wonderful husband, our beautiful healthy children, generous family and friends.  I praise You know for the job and finances only You can provide.  I am trusting and putting my hope in You.  Break my heart and spirit so I may be closer to You.  I pray that I am in unity with You and that in this I will be content no matter my circumstances.  Make my light shine.  I ask that You be the number one influence in my life.  Guide me in this journey.  amen.

Well, it is the end of day 1.  I had some good time in the Word and in prayer.  No hunger pains yet, although I am craving food at the moment, this didn’t come till night.  We will see what tomorrow brings!

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Alright all,

This is going to be my Fasting Log.  Our fast starts on Sunday, Jan 4th, 2009.  I have never done a regular fast before (no food, just drinks) so I’m praying for strength of will.

During this time I will log what I am doing, going through, how I am growing, etc…most recent day will be on top

My prayer…
“Father God, please give me the eyes to see those things in my life that need correcting, changing, improving, or to be removed. Please also give me the strength to move. be my guide, my protector, my provider. Be my strength. Don’t let me go through this fasting and praying and studying unchanged. Make me a light. Show me mercy and grace and love. Allow me to grow closer to You and to fully rely on you. Help me to stop making excuses and to start living the life you have ordained for me.  I know that in order for me to complete this fasting I have to give you my all, become small that you may be bigger.  I love you, my God, my Father. Amen.”

My “theme song” for this fast is below.  I have chose “Our God is Love” by Lee McDerment because the words are just perfect.  God is Bigger than we let HIM be.  He is STRONG enough to set us FREE.  He is LOVE.